Weddings in Great Britain
Most weddings I have studied in this “album” were strongly influenced by our ancestors from Britain. Not only was English the language in which most were conducted, but the form of the ceremony goes back to Elizabethan times.
Actually, once upon time long ago, I did get a role as “best man” in a wedding in l960 in Edinburgh, Scotland.
The setting was in the church where Robert Louis Stevenson grew up. The groom was my roommate in Edinburgh, Bob Grant, who had proposed to his future wife, Nancy, before leaving for Scotland. After some months he wrote and asked her to come to Scotland for the wedding. She agreed; so Bob (and I) spent many hours planning the wedding for March of 1960.
The Rev. Prof. Robin Barbour at New College, a lecturer in our New Testament class, performed the ceremony.
It was joyful to look at the picture above not just of the “performers” but of the entire congregation that sunny day. One can see our landlords in the “digs” we rented for the year, the Stuarts, on the first row left around an Indian physician who lived there as well. Two American students from our “digs” appeared, as did one of the Indian medical students. Three Scottish lads one adorned in kilts showed up , as did a pastor, Jock Wilson, from St. Brides Church, where I did field work. Martin Rese, later to be Professor of New Testament in the Theological Faculty of the University of Muenster, is on the front row right with his head turned toward the nuptial pair. There just to the left of Martin is my brother John, who had just arrived after an early graduation from high school, with nothing to do until the following autumn, so he went to Europe to travel with me. His weddings are described in the "Decade" then "1960s." Just to my left shoulder is my life long friend Phil MacKean who spent the year at New College and the next back at Yale. He earned a Ph. D. in anthropology at taught about Indonesia for several years. His wedding and that of his son, Tom, is described in the "1960s" as well.
Bob did not respond to any requests for this "album project." His last address was in Massachusetts where he served as a Methodist pastor; previous to that assignment I saw him in a pastorate in New Jersey.
The ceremony that day resembled the Book of Worship of the Presbyterians in the USA, for we got it from our Scottish forebears. But their ceremony is much like the ones formulated south of the Scottish border.
Now my research shifts from remembering a wedding in which I had some role to that of viewing films in 2007.
First, I watched “Sense and Sensibility” based on Jane Austin’s novel of the same name. I discovered that Jane Austin (l775-1817) was never married, but she must have gone to many weddings during the years her father was vicar in a parish church. In just that kind of religious setting, probably in a ceremony inspired by one of the happiest weddings in any of her books was caught as well on the Golden Globe Winner “Sense and Sensibility” starring actress Emma Thompson as Elinor Dashwood, who falls in love with Edward Ferrrs, (played by Hugh Grant). Kate Winslet plays Marianne Dashwood; and Ang Lee directed the production.
The wedding comes at the very end when Marianne is married to Colonel Christopher Brandon, played by Alan Rickman.
The ceremony itself is was not to be seen; I saw only the procession out of the parish church with Brandon and his fellow officers wearing the dashing red-coats of the British Colonial Army, which was worn in India. How elegant they looked, especially as Brandon throws coins into the air as an expression of his joy at winning the heart of Marianne.
The film reveals strong sense of the class consciousness in 19th Century England. For the Dashwood Family living in a cottage is portrayed as poor, as no doubt was the childhood of Jane Austin in her “cottage.” The plot seems to portray a family without much money surviving by successful marriages. Not to be seen was the next wedding of Elinor, perhaps in the same church, to Mr. Ferris, who has obtained a modest position as a rector of that same church.
Next, I watch the film version of Jane Austen’s (1813) Pride and Prejudice which had proved her most popular novel. In it she wrote about the English upper, upper class dealings with the not-quite so upper class. Mr. Fitswilliam Darcy represents the former, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet the latter. I read the novel many years ago as an assignment in a British Literature class, and for the present project, I watched the BBC DVD production directed by Simon Langton(l995). Having spent ten days last summer in Wales, I knew the British landscapes could be dazzling, where coaches pulled by four horses on dirt roads through splendid green fields were my favorite aspects of this production. Jennifer Ehle playing Elizabeth Bennett, the eldest of four unmarried daughters in an only slightly rich family, seemed unlikely ever to escape the fact that she had rejected in the first scene in the DVD the proposal of one of England’s truly rich landowners, Darcy, played by Colin Firth.
There have been many attempts to put the long novel into film. For example, “the 1940 film version of Pride and Prejudice, starred Laurence Olivier as Darcy and Greer Garson as Elizabeth. This 1995 adaptation captures Austen's wry, incisive humor.” One reviewer noted that “this quality, along with deft characterization, … prevents the movie from descending into the realm of a nicely-costumed, brilliantly-photographed melodrama.” (Berardinellli)
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http://www.teachwithmovies.org/guides/pride-and-prejudice-DVDcover.jpg
Do Darcy and Bennet resolve their differences in status, wealth, personalities, and family difficulties? Their imagined wedding is contrasted with the actual wedding toward the end of the DVD. Having eloped with Wickam, a questionable army officer, Elizabeth’s sister, Lydia, seems unlikely to have a wedding either, until Mr. Darcy comes to her rescue arranging for a payment to Wickam, which in other countries would be an agreed upon dowry. Wickam knows that Lydia is worth 5,000 British pounds, which would be a much smaller sum than he had already wasted in his extravagant life-style.
But to insure that a wedding takes place, Mr. Darcy comes to the rescue by going to London, finding the still unmarried couple and appearing at the wedding as a witness. By the way, on a web link of the film one can click to the ceremony that might have been used if the DVD represented the entire BBC television mini-series. This wedding was important in the story for it would allow the family to avoid disgrace, and someday the other four daughters including Elizabeth might thereby be wed as well.
A whole book could easily be written about the wedding scenes in films. Everyone I ask about their favorite wedding in a film mentions “Four Weddings and a Funeral”. Indeed, one can view a clip from the wedding scene where the priest cannot remember the right names of the nuptial pair, and seems to be thinking of someone else.
Try this link to be found on “youtube”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD31i9SKw80
Not content to just watch films set in an England of 200 years ago, I found a volume of immense interest in the scope of its discussion of sex and marriage in Britain which took my study back another 300 years to 1500. I learned that when a wedding took place in early modern England it involved a contract “between two families concerning property exchange, which also provided some financial protection to the bride in case of the death of her husband or desertion or divorce by him.” (Stone, 30-31).
Also I learned that in England during the medieval period “sexual intercourse was permitted to take place immediately after the formal public betrothal, but before the wedding.” (Stone, 628). This sounds like a debate which might take place within a college dorm today, not just in the medieval courts.
Henry V was made famous by Shakespeare in the play by that title. In fact, I remember seeing a film version in junior high school. Recently, I found a painting of Henry V at his wedding with Catherine, who was daughter to the King of France. (Bartlett, 169,pl. 6)
Henry on the right looks more timid in spirit than in Shakespeare’s version or Lawrence Olivier’s acting. Catherine, meanwhile, seems to pulling back, and the Archbishop who is performing the ceremony seems to be struggling to hold the two together, or was he blessing their hands. I do not see any rings on their fingers, do you? The marriage was a contract, and between royal figures, it was a key element of diplomacy. Looking at the picture with news of the difficulty of American military forces in Iraq, I wondered if it might not have been wiser for G.W. Bush to have offered his daughters to wed Saddam Husain’s sons, four years ago for a “diplomatic marriage,” instead of starting a war. Someone with feelings against Bush at least as strong as mine recently reminded me that the sons of Saddam already had pictures of the Bush girls on their wall. Were they hoping for a double wedding ceremony?
Back to the discussion of early modern England.
As well as royal alliances, weddings were a way to pass along property to heirs who were made legitimate by weddings. The wealthy families of Britain needed legitimate marriages to protect their heirs. This led to five steps as follows:
1. a written document between parents as to financial arrangements.
2. A formal exchange before witnesses. This we would call a betrothal.
3. Public proclamation of “banns” which were read in churches, three times to make sure all knew that soon a marriage would take place. In the l960’s I heard such proclamations made in St. Brides Church in Edinburgh and wondered what the meaning to such a statement was. Later I learned it was required by law.
4. At last, the wedding, in the church with a formal blessing, using the ceremony which echoes through most of the weddings I have performed.
5.
“The fifth and final step was the sexual consummation.” (Stone 31).
I found it interesting that the Protestant Prayer Book used in the wedding ceremony in 1548 had the line “with this ring, I Thee wed…and with my body I thee worship.”
After the Puritans had come to rule the land in 1641 the House of Lords debated that line and approved new words as follows: “I give thee power over my body.” Also they voted out use of rings in wedding ceremonies.
The debate continued as Presbyterians got involved in the discussion with the Anglicans. Presbyterians do not like to think of the nuptial pair worshipping each other, or giving “power” to anyone but God. So the was resolved in a compromise, “with my body, I thee honour.” (Stone, 522).
In the late 17th and early 18 Century, Rowlandson captured in cartoons exaggerated figures who were in conflict with some of the practices of the time.
For example, here shows a young woman fleeing from her dorm, “Elopement from Boarding School, (1798).” (Stone, pl. 2). Perhaps the young woman knew that she could flee to the Gretna Green across the border in Scotland, were for a more than a century, English couples and, no doubt, some Scots as well found sanctuary from laws which might have limited their quick wedding plan, just as anyone might go to Las Vegas today. In fact, when James Boswell was trying to resolve differences in opinion between Dr. Johnson and John Wilkes by having them meet for a dinner, he knew that Wilkes would be happy to join them. Johnson, on the other hand seemed reluctant, so Boswell told Johnson he would come for him and give him a ride to the meeting. At last Johnson agreed and Boswell wrote: “When I had him fairly seated in a hackney-coach with me, I exulted as much as a fortune-hunter who has got an heiress into a post-chaise with him to set out for Gretna-Green.” (E. K. Williams, E-mail, 2007, May 7).
Thereby Boswell revealed a major fear of parents who feared their daughters, eloping from school or home, might be snared by fortune hunters who would take them to Gretna Green, to have a wedding ceremony. If a wedding was performed, the marriage was legal, and the vows were considered final, with little chance to be revoked.
Another of Rowlandson’s drawings, is entitled “Pre-nuptial pregnancy: a paternity claim,” (1800), suggesting that all the citizens of Great Britain did not follow all the rules listed above. (Stone, pl. 43).
Over the last four hundred years the ceremony of the Anglican Church with its daughter churches throughout the English speaking world changed somewhat in form, but many other denominations used the lofty language which seemed to fit the tone of weddings. I recently had an email correspondence with a retired couple from England and shared the ceremony below. They confirmed that indeed this was just the language that had been used in their ceremony in the l960’s (E-mail from Bob Gillespie (2007, Feb. 22).
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Alternative Services, Series One:
The Form of
Solemnization of Matrimony |
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This service is virtually identical with the service in the Prayer Book proposed in 1928. |
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Authorization |
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This service is authorized pursuant to Canon B 2 of the Canons of the Church of England for use until further resolution of the General Synod. Canon B 3 provides that decisions as to which of the authorized services are to be used shall, in the case of occasional offices (other than Confirmation and Ordination), be made by the minister conducting the service, subject to the right of any of the persons concerned to object beforehand to the form of service proposed. |
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Introduction |
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At the day and time appointed for solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the body of the church with their friends and neighbours: and there standing together, the man on the right hand and the woman on the left, the Priest shall say |
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Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God himself, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee, and is commended in Holy Writ to be honourable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained. |
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First, It was ordained for the increase of mankind according to the will of God, and that children might be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy name. |
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Secondly, It was ordained in order that the natural instincts and affections, implanted by God, should be hallowed and directed aright; that those who are called of God to this holy estate, should continue therein in pureness of living. |
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Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. |
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Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. |
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Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace. |
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When two or more marriages are solemnized at the same time, all that follows, as far as the Psalm, shall be said in each case severally. |
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Speaking unto the persons that shall be married the Priest shall say |
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I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful. |
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At which day of Marriage, if any man do allege and declare any impediment, why they may not be coupled together in Matrimony, by God's law, or the laws of this realm; then the solemnization must be deferred, until such time as the truth be tried. |
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The Marriage |
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If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Priest say unto the man |
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N, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health? and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live? |
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The man shall answer |
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I will. |
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Then shall the Priest say unto the woman |
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(either) |
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N, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live? |
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(or) |
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N, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health? and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so, long as ye both shall live? |
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The woman shall answer |
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I will. |
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Then shall the Priest say |
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Who giveth this woman to be married to this man? |
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Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner. |
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The Priest, receiving the woman at her father's or friend's hands, shall cause the man with his right hand to take the woman by her right hand, and to say after him as follows |
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I, N, take thee, N, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I give thee my troth. |
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Then shall they loose their hands; and the woman, with her right hand taking the man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Priest, one or other of these vows |
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I, N, take thee, N, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth. |
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(or) |
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I, N, take thee, N, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I give thee my troth. |
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Then they shall again loose their hands; and the man shall give unto the woman a ring, laying the same upon the book. |
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Before delivering the ring the Priest may say |
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Bless, O Lord, this ring, and grant that he who gives it and she who shall wear it may remain faithful to each other, and abide in thy peace and favour, and live together in love until their lives' end. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. |
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And the Priest, taking the ring, shall deliver it to the man, to put it upon the fourth finger of the woman's left hand. And the man, holding the ring there, and taught by the Priest, shall say |
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With this ring I thee wed; with my body I thee honour; and all my worldly goods with thee I share: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. |
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Then shall the man leave the ring upon the fourth finger of the woman's left hand, and they shall both kneel down; but the people shall remain standing. Then shall the Priest say |
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O Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, giver of all spiritual grace, the author of everlasting life: Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy name; that, living faithfully together, they may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof this ring given and received is a token and pledge; and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. |
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Amen. |
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Then shall the Priest join their right hands together, and say |
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Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder. |
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Then shall the Priest speak unto the people |
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Forasmuch as N and N have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be man and wife together, In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. |
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And the Priest shall add this Blessing |
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God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. |
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Amen. |
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The Blessing of the Marriage |
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Then the Priest, followed by the man and the woman, shall go to the Lord's Table, while there is said or sung a Psalm. The following are suitable: |
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Psalm 128 Â Beati omnes |
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Blessed are all they that fear the Lord : |
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and walk in his ways. |
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2 |
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For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands : |
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O well is thee, and happy shalt thou be. |
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3 |
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Thy wife shall be as the fruitful vine : |
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upon the walls of thine house; |
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4 |
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Thy children like the olive-branches : |
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round about thy table. |
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Lo, thus shall the man be blessed : |
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that feareth the Lord. |
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6 |
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The Lord from out of Sion shall so bless thee : |
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that thou shalt see Jerusalem in prosperity all thy life long; |
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7 |
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Yea, that, thou shalt see thy children's children : |
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and peace upon Israel. |
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Glory be to the Father, and to the Son : |
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and to the Holy Ghost; |
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as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be : |
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world without end. Amen. |
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Psalm 67 Â Deus misereatur |
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GOD be merciful unto us, and bless us : |
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and shew us the light of his countenance, and be merciful unto us. |
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That thy way may be known upon earth : |
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thy saving health among all nations. |
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Let the people praise thee, O God : |
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yea, let all the people praise thee. |
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O let the nations rejoice and be glad : |
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for thou shalt judge the folk righteously, and govern the nations upon earth. |
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Let the people praise thee, O God : |
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yea, let all the people praise thee. |
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Then shall the earth bring forth her increase : |
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and God, even our own God, shall give us his blessing. |
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God shall bless us : |
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and all the ends of the world shall fear him. |
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Glory be to the Father, and to the Son : |
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and to the Holy Ghost; |
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as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be : |
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world without end. Amen. |
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Psalm 37. 3-7 Â Spera in Domino |
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Put thou thy trust in the Lord, and be doing good : |
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dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. |
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Delight thou in the Lord : |
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and he shall give thee thy heart's desire. |
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Commit thy way unto the Lord, and put thy trust in him : |
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and he shall bring it to pass. |
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He shall make thy righteousness as clear as the light : |
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and thy just dealing as the noon-day. |
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Hold thee still in the Lord : |
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and abide patiently upon him. |
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Glory be to the Father, and to the Son : |
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and to the Holy Ghost; |
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as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be : |
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world without end. Amen. |
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The Psalm ended, the people kneeling, and the man and the woman kneeling before the Lord's Table, the Priest standing at the Table, and turning his face towards them, shall say |
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Let us pray. |
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Lord, have mercy upon us. |
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Christ, have mercy upon us. |
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Lord, have mercy upon us. |
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Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil. Amen. |
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Priest |
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O Lord, save thy servant, and thy handmaid; |
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Who put their trust in thee. |
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Priest |
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O Lord, send them help from thy holy place; |
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And evermore defend them. |
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Priest |
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Be unto them a tower of strength; |
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From the face of their enemy. |
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Priest |
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O Lord, hear our prayer, |
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And let our cry come unto thee. |
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Priest |
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O God of our fathers, bless these thy servants, and sow the seed of eternal life in their hearts; that whatsoever in thy holy Word they shall profitably learn, they may in deed fulfil the same; that so, obeying thy will, and alway being in safety under thy protection, they may abide in thy love unto their lives' end; through Jesus Christ our Lord. |
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Amen. |
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This Prayer next following shall be omitted, where the woman is past child-bearing. |
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O merciful Lord and heavenly Father, by whose gracious gift mankind is increased; bestow, we beseech thee, upon these two persons the heritage and gift of children; and grant that they may see their children christianly and virtuously brought up to thy praise and honour, through Jesus Christ our Lord. |
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Amen. |
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This Prayer shall follow |
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O God,who hast taught us that it should never be lawful to put asunder those whom thou by Matrimony hadst made one, and hast consecrated the state of Matrimony to such an excellent mystery, that in it is signified and represented the spiritual marriage and unity betwixt Christ and his Church: Look mercifully upon these thy servants, that both this man may love his wife, according to thy Word, (as Christ did love his spouse the Church, who gave himself for it, loving and cherishing it even as his own flesh,) and also that this woman may be loving and amiable, and faithful to her husband, and in all quietness, sobriety, and peace, be a follower of holy and godly matrons. O Lord, bless them both, and grant them to inherit thy everlasting kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord. |
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Amen. |
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Then shall the Priest say this Blessing |
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Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Pour upon you the riches of his grace, sanctify and bless you, that ye may please him both in body and soul, and live together in holy love unto your lives' end. |
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Amen. |
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If there be a Communion, the foregoing prayer and blessing shall be said over the man and woman immediately before the final blessing of the congregation at the Communion. |
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If there be no Communion, here shall follow the Sermon; or there shall be read some portion of Scripture. And then the Priest shall dismiss those that are gathered, saying |
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Let us pray. |
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O almighty Lord, and everlasting God, vouchsafe, we beseech thee, to direct, sanctify, and govern, both our hearts and bodies, in the ways of thy laws, and in the works of thy commandments; that through thy most mighty protection, both here and ever, we may be preserved in body and soul; through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. |
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Amen. |
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The blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, be amongst you and remain with you always. |
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Amen. |
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The Communion |
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lf there be a Communion, the following Collect, Epistle, and Gospel, or the Collect, Epistle, and Gospel of the day, may be used immediately after the Prayer for child-bearing; or after the Collect preceding it, if that be not said. |
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The Collect |
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O God our Father, who by thy holy Apostle hast taught us that love is the fulfilling of the law: Grant to these thy servants that, loving one another, they may continue in thy love unto their lives' end; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, one God world without end. |
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Amen. |
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The Epistle |
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For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. |
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Ephesians 3. 14-19 |
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The Gospel |
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As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. |
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St. John 15. 9-12 |
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Copyright |
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© The Registrars of the Convocations of Canterbury and York, 1965, 1966 |
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The copyright of this service is assigned with effect from 1 July 1978 to the Central Board of Finance of the Church of England, and with effect from 1 January 1999 to The Archbishops' Council of the Church of England. |
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© The Archbishops' Council of the Church of England, 2000-2004
All of the official Common Worship publications are being published by Church House Publishing. |
