1950's
Rudy Ruda

Meanwhile, “Back to the ‘50's,” I was already in the NROTC, as a midshipman 3 rd class, but I would not get to wear my white dress uniform for three more years until I was commissioned and on the way to report for duty on my first ship. I was not asked to participate in any more weddings until l955, when two requests were made. One week after graduation from Duke a fresh looking gold bar on a very white, unused uniform of an ensign, I reported for two assignments. One was to my duty station of the U. S. Navy on a monday; but the previous Saturday I was asked to serve in what might be called “a wedding-detail” duty in Chevy Chase, Maryland as a groomsman for my classmate and good friend, Lt. Rudy Ruda, who was commissioned the same day as I was, and I can find myself on the first row next but one from Rudy. We were swearing to “uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America from all enemies foreign and domestic.”

Photograph by Whitley-Scott, Durham N. C.

We wore those white uniforms on our graduation, and the following Saturday we wore them to Rudy's wedding. Rudy chose to serve in the Marine Corps, from which he had been on temporary assignment as a NROTC officer candidate to study at Duke for four years. One summer midway through those years, we were sent to Texas, where Rudy, 35 other midshipmen and I were given flight instruction in both fighter and bomber aircraft, I imagined myself requesting further flight instruction, hoping to get wings as a fighter pilot upon our graduation from Duke. Rudy was not only more experienced from his prior service in the Marine Crops, but he was wiser than I as well. He cautioned me as to the danger of landing and even taking off from carriers should I make such a choice. Probably I owe my life at this point to Rudy Ruda for his caution, because my automobile driving was and is so reckless, I probably would never even have earned wings, much less shot down any enemy aircraft! Thank you, if somewhat belatedly, dear Rudy!

His bride was Patricia Burrus, also a classmate, and their wedding was held in the Episcopal Church she had attended while growing up. Pat, as we called her at Duke, was a leader on campus and one of the major roles in which I remember her was of an officer in “Canterbury Club” for students of the Episcopal persuasion, as one might say.

The massive and beautiful stone church in which Rudy and Pat were married seemed a solid place to start a marriage, I thought. The organ playing is a powerful memory of their wedding, especially during their recessional. The bride looked beautiful in this golden moment, and Rudy had the happiest look I ever had seen on his face during the 4 years I had known. He had been the drum major of little NROTC drum and bugle corps for all four years, wearing a hat that reminded me as a history major too as if Rudy were a member of Napoleon's legions which conquered, at least for a while, most of Europe. Meanwhile, watching Rudy marching out ahead of us, I had been a mere drummer on the back row, preferring that weapon to the rifle most other midshipmen would have to clean and tote.

Now at the wedding Rudy seemed relaxed, especially without the big hat of the drum major; and we all felt we were entering the service of our country at a somewhat more relaxed moment in history.

(By the way, as an historical footnote that serves to remind me of the events which took place outside the wedding celebrations being described, King Vidor's “War and Peace” would be shown during the first year of Rudy's and my years in uniform. I remember seeing the film during the years I served on the USS Iowa (BB-61), in the Atlantic Fleet and stationed in Norfolk , VA. )

During a temporary assignment for a few months after their wedding, Rudy was stationed at the Marine Corps amphibious base, “Little Creek, ” near where my ship was moored to a dock in the Norfolk Naval Base; and we had a delightful Sunday at Virginia Beach , where I looked at their wedding pictures. That year also saw the Cecil B. de Mille “The Ten Commandments” (which will show again Saturday April 14.2007), with Charlton Heston playing Moses, in a more agreeable manner than the NRA image he has projected onto the world thereafter. I liked him better as Moses.

After that summer day, I saw Rudy only one more time, and I never saw Patricia again. My ship was most often at sea for the next three years, to Europe for half a year once, and four other sailings for briefer exercises. Rudy and Patricia always sent me a post card with pictures of their three children, with their names.

I remember the double shock when first I read of Pat's death in the Duke Alumni Magazine, an untimely death in an automobile accident, whereupon I made a visit to Rudy in Washington D.C. where their family had settled after his military service concluded. We talked of grief. We talked of a life after death, for he gave me assurance of meeting Patricia in the life to come. We walked to the Vietnam Memorial, for I wanted to find the names of students I had taught in my first years, who were listed there. I found two names of young men I knew, and he as well found two names of men he had serviced with who stayed in the Marine Corps into the l960's. I remember weeping with him in that open air sanctuary, for those lives that had ended in Vietnam and for his wife as well.

http://www.atpm.com/7.01/washington-dc/images/vietnam-memorial-420.jpg

What has this got to do with weddings? At this wall, Rudy and I talked about our weddings, our marriages, and our lives. And in 2007 I thought of those whom I remember having taught in Missouri who never had weddings, because they were sent to die in Vietnam . For six of them I conducted memorial services in Missouri , not weddings! Later I remember the same shock of reading of Rudy's death in the Duke Alumni Magazine! It seemed very sad to learn that both Pat and Rudy, my classmates, had both died before I could write about their wedding.